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Formulas, Breaks, and Other Mental Battles

Cross-posted on Write, Run, Rejoice to save time. 😉

Well, I did it. Something I’ve been thinking about doing for a long time but held off because A.) it’d be a waste of money seeing as how I’m not ready and I lack the talent, B.) I’d most likely flake and quit, just like I’ve done so many times before, and C.) the thought of jumping TERRIFIES ME.

But I did it anyway. I signed up for Mark Dawson’s Self-Publishing Formula 101 Course.

Oh Lawd, what have I done??

LOL, that was a disappointment, right?

Here you thought it was something huge like sky diving lessons. That, my dear, will never happen. I know you’re never supposed to say never, but N-E-V-E-R. Although when I think about it … self-publishing a novel does sound just as terrifying.

To explain why here’s a brief overview of the mental battle that has been going on in my head for at least … oh, 21 years.

I started writing in 1999 when I was high on Dilaudid, which you can get the full scoop on over here. (Talk about click-bait, right?? Shameful, Laura. Just shameful.) I published my first young adult novel in 2007 and my second in 2012, which should have been proof that I do have talent as a writer, but did I listen? Noooooo.

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Instead, I have allowed fear, doubt, procrastination, and a whopping dose of intimidation to control my non-existent writing career. Then in 2016, I threw myself into Joyful Miles, because it was fun and breezy and came naturally to me with little risk of rejection or failure, other than an occasional thumbs down on a video.

To be clear, I am NOT blaming Joyful Miles. Who has two thumbs and holds herself accountable? This gal.

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And I’ve absolutely loved every minute with Joyful Miles. It’s something I’m very proud of and wouldn’t trade for one minute. (Plus, I’m not quitting any time soon. To do so would be like cutting a chunk out of my heart.)

My biggest dream for the past four years, however, has also been to become an indie author. So I have still have been writing all this time … but my efforts have been half-assed with several manuscripts that are either unfinished or unedited.

But here’s one good thing about me: I NEVER give up on myself.

I may fail, stumble, and make bad choices, but I never give up. This is why I finally signed up for the Self Publishing Formula course, regardless of how pricey it is. How pricey? Really pricey. Like, goodbye iPhone 11 dreams, girl, you’re stick with that 7 for a while. But after doing a lot of research, I learned how Mark Dawson’s course is the gold standard, so I’m putting faith in his formula.

And after much soul-searching and a lovely conversation with Jackey, I’ve also decided to press pause on social media for two months. I need to crawl into a cozy creative cave and truly dive back into writing, reading, and learning. No blogging, (either here or on my writing blog,) and no uploading videos on YouTube … although granted, I haven’t exactly been on fire there lately. No Facebook, no Twitter, no Instagram, no nothing.

Wow. Just typing that makes me anxious.

Which brings me to my first point of…

Things I Already Realize

Nobody will care about this as much as me.

To me, two months with NO SOCIAL MEDIA is a super huge deal. Like, super huge. But as you’re reading this, your thoughts will most likely be, “Okay, cool, best of luck to you,” without the need for any long explanations. This is why I’m trying to not turn this post into an overdrawn, dramatic exit.

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Life will go one quite fine without me posting pics to Insta and there’s a chance you might not even notice my absence. Nothing against you, nothing against me, we’re just all trying to survive our own crazy the best we can!

There’s always a new distraction!

I also fully realize that this is NOT going to be an immediate, instant cure, OH MY GOSH, I’m finally gonna get things done!!!

Social media isn’t the root of all evil and the cause of my lack of writing productivity. It’s my bad habits and daily choices that are to blame. So I fully realize that if I’m not careful, I could easily replace my Instagram addiction with Solitaire. To fight this temptation, I have written out some rules for me to follow … what is not allowed and what is. For example, I’m still allowed thirty minutes of Facebook Messanger time daily to chat with friends, with more time on weekends. I’m not going that deep into a cave!

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I also realize I’ll have some major FOMO going on. Especially during runDisney’s Star Wars Half Marathon! The FOMO force will be strong so I will pop into our Joyful Miles Running Club that weekend to see everyone’s costumes and celebrate their victories!

Most importantly, I realize I’ll miss you!!! ❤

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Well, lovelies, I could go on and on in the post … chatting about my expectations, why I need this digital cleanse, what I hope to accomplish, blah, blah, blah, but I’m getting close to dramatic … or maybe I’ve already closed that line. 😉 I’ll be back again in May with (hopefully) a clearer mind, renewed spirit, and finished novel!

Best of luck with Star Wars and any races you have coming up in the next couple of months, take care and have a joyful day!

About the author: Laura is a writer, runner, reader, runDisney addict, blogger, vlogger, wife to an amazing guy for 26 years, mom of two wonderful boys, excellent chili maker, and obsessive list keeper. She still thinks Spice World was an awesome movie and feels no shame about that plus she can quote most lines from Talladega Nights. Shake and bake!

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